The Pro-Delight Mindset

I hate being told to choose joy. I came across this quote again today, in the guise of New Year’s inspiration. “You have to wake up and choose joy every day”. The whole reason joy is joy, in my opinion, is because it’s uncontainable. Joy wells up out of you and gives you that full-heart feeling. Joy is not a decision, it’s a gift from the universe.

I believe the only thing you get to decide when you wake up is your mindset. But before you roll your eyes and stop reading, let me assure you that this is about neither growth nor productivity. No, this is about delight. 

One of the things I’ve been working on during quarantine, and want to take into 2021 with me, is developing a pro-delight mindset. I think having a pro-delight mindset means choosing to notice the things that you are delighted by, and actually pausing to acknowledge them in the moment. This doesn’t have to take time out of your day, it just requires you to be present and pay slightly more attention to the little things. 

For example, I love the way that milk does that curly-cue cloud-blossom thing when you pour it into tea. Considering I make tea every morning, this gives me an opportunity to be delighted every day. Are there mornings when I’m in a rush and thinking about other things and don’t notice? Absolutely. But I’m trying, really trying, to be present for that two seconds every morning.

As I have slowly developed this idea over the course of quarantine, I have started to notice so many small delightful things. My goal moving forward into 2021 is to allow those moments of delight to help guide my decision making. This can look like a lot of things– taking a different route to the coffee shop because I noticed a super colorful house on a side street and wanted to see it better, opening my window to smell the rain, or wearing my good boots to the grocery store because they make a fun noise on the sidewalk. 

These are small-potatoes decisions, but I believe this can apply to larger habit-changes as well. As we know, I’m trying to become a morning person, and while my reasoning is supported by productivity and efficiency, it is grounded in delight. The light, the quiet, the possibilities… mornings are delightful! So I’m chasing that moment of delight by trying to get up early more often. 

Obviously, there are things that can be delightful but are maybe not healthy every-day habits. I’m not trying to encourage you to chase your vices, or give in to any and all temptations. The pro-delight mindset is more about finding moments of delight in the habits and routines that you have to adhere to, as well as the things you choose to do. For example, I don’t love going into the office right now (mid pandemic) but I have to, and while I may not be happy about it overall, I can still enjoy the way that the sun hits City Hall in the morning and makes it glow gold.

I have no idea what to expect out of this year. I don’t know what’s going to happen with the pandemic, with politics, or with my own personal life. The uncertainty surrounding 2021 is stressful– I like to plan, I like to know what’s going on, and I feel like I can’t see further than one month out right now. This stress has made working towards a pro-delight mindset even more important to me. These small delightful moments in my day give me something to hold onto and to ground myself with. The whole world might be a mess, but milk still looks really cool dissolving into tea. 

Real quick before we go, I want to add that delight is not the same as happiness. You don’t have to be happy every day. This is why I get annoyed when people tell me to choose joy. It’s just not realistic. Sometimes I’m pissed, and sometimes I’m miserable. The thing about the pro-delight mindset that I like, is that I’m not asking myself to be happy. I can be absolutely miserable and still recognize that the milk hitting the tea is beautiful. It doesn’t make me happier, it just makes me focus on something else for two seconds, and that’s valuable.

I would absolutely love to hear y’all’s thoughts on how delight plays into your own lives, and the things that delight you. I’m also still ruminating on this mindset in general, so if you have anything you’d like to add, or questions to ask, please let me know. You can drop a comment here or reach out to me at gracethieme@gmail.com , Instagram @gracethieme, or Twitter @thecommonthieme. 

As ever, thank you so much for being here. 

Xoxo,