This has been a stressful month, and I don’t know about you but I can feel it in my body. My back hurts, my jaw is tight, my hips are all out of alignment. Everything just feels tight, like I’m keyed up.
Now, I am not a doctor, but I have spent an inordinate amount of time in physical (and mental) therapy and I have learned a lot about how to manage the physical manifestations of stress in my own body. So I want to share some of the things I’ve learned in the hope that some of it will help you too.
This guide will start with the physical, and work its way down towards more meditative exercises at the end. I have incorporated techniques I’ve learned from physical therapists, psychologists, and athletic trainers over the years, as well as some things I have found on my own that “just work”, couldn’t tell you why.
If you want to follow along, you will need the following:
- A good patch of floor, preferably carpeted or with a mat of some kind.
- A small ball, like a tennis or lacrosse ball.
To Begin:
Start with whatever kind of yoga or gentle stretching you like best. You want to get your body moving, and start to think about how it feels. Touch your toes, reach to the sky, do some side bends, and notice where your body feels the most stuck. Pay special attention to your shoulders and hips, as these areas tend to hold onto tension.
When you feel like your body is moving, lie down on the floor. Now, roll around. Yep, you heard me. The floor is your friend, and feeling your body in contact with the floor is one of the quickest ways to literally ground yourself. Feel the weight and pressure where your body makes contact with the ground. Remember that you and your body are one. You inhabit your physical body, even when it feels like you’re floating around separate from it. Seriously, roll around on the floor.
Ball Work:
Now, grab your tennis/whatever ball. Lie on your back and place the ball in that little corner where your pelvis and your spine meet. Roll around on it a little, massaging the very base of your spine muscles on one side. Then slowly move the ball up that side of your spine, really taking your time wherever your spine muscles seem the most knotty. Work your way all the way up to your shoulder blade, and really explore rolling around on that ball. You can get a really good self massage this way. When you’re done with one side, remove the ball and marvel at how much more relaxed that side feels. Then repeat on the other side.
You can use this ball technique on any part of your body. I find it works well on my hip flexors (oww), glutes and hips, IT band, and pecs. It can be quite painful, so go at your own pace and find the right balance of good hurt. It’s important to note that most humans hold onto anger in their mid-back between their shoulder blades, and grief/trauma in their solar plexus. If you feel like you’re holding onto a lot of emotion, try doing some exploratory massage in these areas. I am always shocked by how tender my solar plexus and all those other muscles up under my ribs get. Be gentle with yourself, and acknowledge your emotions with respect as you work the tension out.
The final piece of ball work I want to go over is for your feet. Rolling out your feet is seriously magical. First, find something to hold onto for balance. Start at the heel (this can be kinda tricky with a tennis ball… it wants to squirt out, just play with it) and work your way forward. Use the ball to massage the whole of your sole, paying special attention to the inner arch that connects to your big toe, and the pocket at the base of the ball of your foot. Try stretching your foot laterally by doming the ball of your foot over the tennis/whatever ball and feeling all the space between your toe bones. Really get in there, and marvel at how much more relaxed you feel afterward.
Breath Work:
I cannot overstate how amazing this breathwork series has been for me. I use it to help me go to sleep when I’m stressed out, or calm down if I’m starting to feel panicky, and honestly it is a miracle.
To begin, lie down on your back (on the floor, or in bed if you’re trying to sleep). Breathe regularly, and notice where your breath goes. Do you breathe into one lung more than the other? Are you breathing all the way into your belly? How about your back? Try to even out your breathing so that you’re filling your whole lungs equally. Do this for a few minutes, allowing your breathing to become slower and deeper.
Once you feel ready, take a full breath in through your nose. Hold at the top for about three seconds, and then blow out through your mouth in a long, slow stream (like you’re blowing through a straw). This is accomplished by leaving just a tiny hole in your lips so that you have to push the air out with some force. Blow out ALL your air, until there is literally nothing left in your lungs. Then, take a long slow breath in through your nose.
Repeat this process five times, focusing on the way your breath feels as it enters and exits your body.
I find that this makes me slightly lightheaded sometimes, so just be aware of your own body and go at your own pace. When you feel like you’re ready, return to your normal breathing pattern. Hopefully you will notice your lungs feeling looser and your breaths fuller than before.
Mind Work:
To finish this series, I like to end with some meditation. I am a terrible traditional meditator, I can never clear my brain, I don’t like mantras, and I always end up either falling asleep or stressing out about something. So I’ve been forced to improvise.
Instead of trying to reach a clear brain state, or even meditate on one particular topic, I use this time to really FEEL what I’m feeling. When I was a hormonal adolescent, I came up with this idea about emotions that I have honestly used ever since: emotions are like waves, and you are the beach. Emotions are going to come in, but they will also go back out. Sometimes when the tide is high the emotions come up really far and cover you all up, but when the tide recedes (and it always does), the beach is still there.
I use this image when I do this final meditation, and I let whatever emotions I’m feeling wash over me. I try to name them all– not figure out why I’m feeling them– just name them. I have found that by imagining them as waves of named-emotion-water that are rushing over me, it makes me feel more in control. It reminds me that even though I can’t stop these emotions, they’re only temporary, and soon enough they’ll recede and I’ll still be here.
Final Thoughts:
I’ve been shown many many relaxation techniques over the years, and these are just the ones that have worked for me. You may find this super helpful, or it may be totally useless. Regardless, I really urge you to try and find something that helps to calm you down. Not just your conscious brain, but your body and your nervous system too. Covid has forced us all to be our own best friends… so learn how to treat yourself right.
I am always trying to add to my relaxation repertoire, so if you have any techniques that you love, please drop them in the comments! Let’s all learn to take care of our own bodies and nervous systems together.
I hope you’re doing alright, and as always thank you for being here.
xoxo,
